The first noble truth of Buddhism is simply dukkha–the reality of suffering. Though it is often translated as life is suffering, I prefer to think of it as the plain observation that there is suffering in the world. There is small s suffering–spilling your morning coffee on your lap while driving in traffic–and big S Suffering–sickness and death.
The next three Noble Truths go into the causes of suffering, the promise that suffering can end, and the path to get out of it. What I wanted to focus on in this post is the reality that once we notice the experience of our own suffering, we have the ability to turn that very pain into medicine.
This understanding is an important discovery on the spiritual path, where we want everything we encounter on the path to become part of our path. Contrary to the popular belief that spirituality is just about “finding your bliss,” a genuine spiritual path is not focused on attaining higher states but increasing our capacity to be with what is, the good and the bad, the positive and the negative.
We cannot run from pain, but we can transform it. There are three essential ways to turn our pain into medicine on the spiritual path. In short, our pain can be:
- a doorway to compassion,
- a signpost for exactly where we are stuck,
- and an opportunity for growth.
Let’s go over each of those ways.
Let your pain be a doorway to compassion
First off, if the phrase “let your pain turn to medicine” sounds familiar, something very similar can be found in a poem of Rumi:
Through Love all that is bitter will sweet,
Through Love all that is copper will be gold,
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine,
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine,
Through Love the dead will all become alive,
Through Love the king will turn into a slave.
This provides a clue as to how we alchemically turn our pain into medicine: through love.
But what does that actually look like? It might help to understand three of the four brahma viharas, also known as the Divine Abodes or Noble Qualities. Those would be metta, mudita, and upekkha, or, in English, loving-kindness, sympathetic joy, and compassion. What is the difference between these three emotions? Well, they all happen when our love touches another person.
There are many ways to think about what love is, but it is easiest to just think of love as a genuine concern for another person’s well being. If you want a person to be happy and not suffer or be in pain, that is love.
So, when your genuine concern for another person touches them, it transforms depending on how that person is doing in the moment. If they are feeling neutral, love turns into loving-kindness–the desire for this person to be happy. If the person is already happy and doing well in life, then that love turns into sympathetic joy–feeling joy for their joy.
But, if a person is suffering, then our love turns into compassion, the desire for that person to be alleviated of their suffering.
In this way, pain is a doorway to compassion. Pain can open our heart. Rather than running from pain, suppressing it, ignoring it, or hiding it, we can let it be the spark that ignites compassion within us. (For more on compassion, check out The Four Components of Compassion and A Call for Compassion.)
We can turn our pain into medicine by letting it be a doorway to compassion, and we can also let our pain be a signpost pointing to exactly where we are stuck.
Let your pain be a signpost pointing to exactly where you are stuck
You have probably heard the old adage that “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” The truth behind this statement is that we will all experience tremendous challenges in our lives, but those challenges only turn into suffering when we actively resist them.
Sometimes referred to as the second arrow, suffering is that additional layer we put on top of pain that actively resists what is happening in the present moment. This truth points to the second Noble Truth, which is that there is a cause to our suffering, which is our attachment to things being a certain way. The way out of suffering is to cultivate non-attachment.
So, in this way, pain is actually a signpost pointing us to exactly where we are holding on and exactly what we need to let go. If a person we love is dying, we are holding onto the idea that none of us die and that we will live forever. If we are suffering because we lost our job, we are still holding onto a job that no longer exists.
One of the greatest resistances we have is resistance to the pain itself. If we are able to fully experience it and see it for what it is, it will release its hold on us. Maybe our pain manifests as anxiety and fear. It can be easy to run from these emotions or to numb them with drugs and alcohol. But, if we are to use our pain as medicine, we must let this pain be a signpost pointing to how we are resisting those feelings that are necessary to learning from them and growing beyond them.
Our pain can be a wake-up call on the spiritual path, pointing us to exactly where we need to go. And lastly, our pain can also be an incredible opportunity to grow.
Let it be an opportunity for growth
I often joke that one of the most lamentable aspects of the human experience is that we are not plants, considering they have a very pleasurable growing process. Plants can just sit out in the sun, absorbing the wonderful light, taking in the gentle rain, and absorbing delicious nutrients from the Earth.
Human beings, however, aren’t built that way. Human beings actually grow through stress. Physically, emotionally, and mentally, we have to challenge ourselves if we are to actually grow. On a physical level, that means stretching muscles to make them more flexible or lifting weights to make them stronger. But, on a mental-emotional level, it’s those truly challenging experiences that ask us to grow to meet them.
Hazrat Inayat Kahn put it this way:
I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to learn to solve. I asked for prosperity and God gave me a brain and brawn to work. I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome. I asked for love and God gave me people to help. I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities. I received nothing I wanted. I received everything I needed.
In truth, we can actually be thankful for any painful or challenging experience in our lives because, in those moments, we are forced to grow.
By turning our challenges into gratitude and growth, our pain turns into medicine. By looking into the nature of our suffering, our pain turns to medicine. By opening ourselves to compassion, our pain turns to medicine.
In this way, everything we encounter on the path becomes part of our path. Everything becomes grist for the mill. We can then welcome each and every new experience with an open heart and mind, recognizing that wherever we are is exactly where we are supposed to be.
(Cover Photo by Naomi August on Unsplash)
